Nakushita
by Gein
Summary: Okita's sickness is getting the better of him so Saitoh decides it's time to tell him how he feels. Warning: This is a yaoi fic!!


This is a yaoi SaitohXOkita fanfic. Just to warn you...and all the characters in RK are property of Watsuki-sensei, Shueisha, and a few others. No money will ever be made from this and I don't have a cent so you'll be wasting your time suing. Enjoy! XD  
  
Blood. Everywhere, no matter where I turned, there was blood. I heard the screaming of children, the battle cries of warriors, and the sickening tearing sound of metal cutting through flesh. Death surrounding me, overwhelming me with the sights and that all-too-familiar smell. Suddenly, a warrior with no face turns toward me. There's nowhere to run; I know wherever I go I will suffer the same fate. The warrior advances, and his face is suddenly visible: it's Himura-san. I could always recognize his blank expressions, the blank look he had when fighting and the blank little smile he wore when a small victory came his way. But this time it was different. His expression was pure evil, his mouth opened in a silent laugh that seemed to surround me. His eyes grew darker as his katana came down, and as the metal sliced through my neck, I heard his voice whisper, "What's wrong?"   
"AAAAAHHHH!" I bolted up in bed, a cold sweat covering my body. I gasped for air, but that only triggered my coughing, and I didn't stop until a shocking amount of blood shot out of my mouth and into my hand. The coughing stopped, and I took a deep breath and wiped the blood on the covers, trying desperately not to look at it. I didn't want to see anymore after that dream. All the coughing made my chest feel like it had been stabbed, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. My vision started blurring and I closed my eyes. The world was spinning, but I reassured myself, telling myself it had happened before and it was nothing serious.   
The screen to my room quickly slid open and Nagakura-san and Saitou-san rushed in. They knelt beside me and looked around for an invisible harasser. I was still dizzy, but smiled weakly trying to show them I was all right. "Okita, what happened? We heard you scream." Saitou looked at me seriously and my fear of the dream kicked in. It had been such a disturbing dream, and I felt my eyes begin to water, but I covered them up and said I had a bad dream. Nagakura-san sighed. "Well, I'll leave you then. I have guard post duty. And Okita? Put your hair up. You look like a girl." I tried to smile but it faltered badly. Nagakura-san smirked and left.   
Saitou-san took me by surprise by putting a hand to my sweaty forehead. He scowled at me. "You have a high fever. Why didn't you tell us? Kondou-san was angry at you because you weren't doing well today. If you had told us that you were sick, you would have saved yourself a lot of grief." I looked down, blushing. "Sorry, Saitou-san. But I don't want everyone to go easy on me just because I'm sick." Saitou-san arched his eyebrows at me. " 'Just because' you're sick? Okita, you and I both know we should go easy on you all the time, because you aren't just sick. You have a deadly disease, and it's finally getting the better of you." I bit my lip; I hated it when Saitou-san left me speechless. I shook it off with a smile. "Maa, Saitou-san, it's not like I'm just going to fall down and start decaying. I know what's good for me; you don't have to be my mother. I'll be all right." Saitou-san frowned, then let out a deep sigh.  
"Okita, if you die the first division will collapse. We need a captain, and everyone knows no one can fill in for you." I smiled, getting nervous about his doubting I would live long. "Don't worry, Saitou-san. I'll live. It'll pass, I'm sure. Believe me, I'm okay." I pushed my hair to the side of my neck, a nervous gesture, even though my burning had quickly turned into what now seemed like I was in a snowstorm. Saitou-san stared at me, then cleared his throat. "Okita. How am I supposed to believe that when blood is running down your face and there's about a gallon on your covers?" "Eh..." I wiped the blood off my face with my yukata sleeve and stared disgustedly at the blood staining the blankets. Saitou-san put on a concerned look. "Your illness has been getting worse. you have fevers so often and right now your face is really pale. It makes me wonder how much longer your body can take this." "Saitou-san, I--" I was cut off as he wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me into his lap and embrace. I blushed. "Shhhhh." Saitou-san whispered. He pressed my head against his chest and adrenaline raced around my body.   
I finally relaxed and closed my eyes. He was so warm, even though he still had his Shinsengumi uniform on. It felt so good, to be this close to anyone; it was comforting. I felt tears come to my eyes and tried to will them to go away. I grabbed onto his shoulders, afraid if one of us moved it would break the peace of this eternal moment. Saitou stroked my hair and murmured, "I don't want you to die, Okita. Please, take care of yourself. I don't want...you to leave me." I stiffened at that last comment. I didn't know Saitou-san cared that much about me. Saitou-san pressed his forehead against mine and I noticed the way he was looking at me, and it made me fidget around. He smiled a little to my surprise and whispered, "You're beautiful." I tried not to let my breathing go ragged. "Sa-Saitou-san...why?"   
His face turned serious and he leaned closer until our noses were touching. All of the sudden his lips ferociously devoured mine in a passionate kiss. I tried to pull back out of shock but he grabbed around my waist and guided me down onto the futon. His demanding tongue found its way into my mouth and I gasped in surprise. He pinned me down and never came up for air. The kiss grew slower but more passionate, causing me to moan, and I soon grew accustomed to it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, my tongue engaging in a battle with his. Finally we let go panting. Saitou stroked the side of my face whispering, "You're beautiful. You're so beautiful." He kissed me a little more and then looked me straight in the eye.   
"Okita, you probably know this already, but it's been killing me and I need to tell you this. Okita, I..... love you." I smiled at him and then kissed him lightly on the lips. "I love you, too, Saitou-san. I always have, I just...never realized it until now. I love you." Saitou-san leaned closer and then captured my lips again in another ferocious kiss. As I returned it his hands traced the curves of my body until we ran out of breath. I'm sure my face was flushed, not from fever but from the kiss, but Saitou-san didn't say anything. He just smiled and kissed and licked my neck. I moaned again, my eyes clouding over. "Sai...Saitou-san. Please...Saitou-san.." Saitou-san smiled again, obviously amused at how bad I was at handling these things. Then he paused and murmered, "Just call me Saitou."  
That startled me. I've never heard him tell anyone to call him just Saitou, even though so many already did. He suddenly undid my gi and I gasped as he kissed the base of my neck. Then he traced down to my chest and kissed everywhere on it. I had to restrain from panting so held a death grip on Saitou-san's shoulders. Suddenly Saitou-san stopped and quickly took off his jacket and gi. I blushed when I saw how well-built he was and how I wasn't anything to look at compared to him. Saitou-san took the tie out of his hair and it looked absolutely beautiful shimmering in the moonlight. My hair wasn't that nice, either. I had always hated how it was always course and how feminine I looked with it down. But Saitou-san didn't look feminine; he looked amazing.  
Saitou-san got on top of me again and kissed me softly, but passionately. I ran my fingers through his hair, and it felt like the finest silk. I felt Saitou-san smile in the kiss. Suddenly he let go of the kiss and licked my naval. I gasped at this new feeling and tried not to lose control. "Saitou...please, stop...Saitou.." Of course I didn't want him to stop, and he knew that. It felt so good...I had never felt anything like that before. Saitou-san paused before continuing and murmered, "You seem new to this, Darling." I blushed at what he called me. Then I tried to restrain from panting and nodded. Saitou-san smiled. "you're a virgin, huh? I'm going to keep you that way for a while, Okita." I was utterly confused at what he said, but I too, didn't want to take this relationship too far, either. Saitou-san licked my abdomen again, and I stroked his hair, panting. He bit and licked my neck, making me moan loudly in ecstasy. "Saitoooohhh..." I could feel Saitou-san smile at my barely-controlled enjoyment, but then resume to kissing me. It was another one of his fierce kisses, but I fought his tongue back.   
Finally we separated, both panting. "We...should go to bed. We have to wake up early." Saitou-san said, trying to convince me he wasn't tired. I smiled. "Okay...are you staying?" I felt embarrassed asking such a question, but I felt I had to. He smiled and nodded, pulling me under the covers with him. "Goodnight, Darling." "Goodnight, my love." Even with the blood on the covers, and the remnants of a bad dream, I didn't feel so alone anymore. For the first time in my life, I felt wanted, loved. I lay in his arms, listening to his even sound of breath, and I felt the worst was over. I didn't feel lost anymore.  
END  
  
Well, this fic was finally finished on May 18, 2001. I just want to say, I absolutely loooove these alternate yaoi pairings!! ^.^ If you can think of any yaoi pairing you like, I guarantee I'll like it too! I was inspired by how close Saitou and Okita seemed in the OVAs that I liked to think there was something deeper going on...who knows, maybe there is! ^^; Well, I beg of you, please write a review!! Domo Arigatou!~Gein  
  



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